The tale of the Dishes

Oh my Friends Let me tell you a story. A story so sad and heartbreaking that your stomach will wretch and your eyes will explode with tears. (no seriously explode) This is the tale of the Wedding China. Oh we had such beautiful Wedding China. I had no role in that because, well there plates and all I do is eat off them, but anyways they were beautiful. Until they exploded in such a glorious manner that FEMA responded. Here is a timeline: Yesterday at 9am Mom Gray(the babysitter of Penelope) calls frantically saying major accident in house, many dishes dead, still searching for survivors. 902am Hayley Tells Jim to get ass in car we have to go home now. 904am Get in car and drive home. 917am Reach Crime Scene. Devastation total. looks like tiny tornado ripped through Gray household. Many Dishes Destroyed But Family and Pets are Okay. Mom and baby Shaken but consolable. 922am Begin Clean up and Search continues for survivors. 6 Dishes Survived. 78 Killed. 7 missing, Presumed Dead. Hayley Sad but now gets to buy more dishes. 1113am Head back to work after burying unfortuante dishes with proper burial in dumpster, moment of Silence then head back to work. What a morning.