Me Likey Food

For those of you who know me, you know I love to cook. Take a good look at me and you know I love to eat as well. When I get the cooking mood it lasts for usually a week or two. I make everything. Tonight I am thinking of making Bread and possibly trying a recipe for Sticky buns. Now the problem is that I am on a diet. I have lost 20 pounds so far and can't really enjoy the food that I am making. Pregnant wife enjoys food but can't eat all of it. SOOOO, if there is anyone out there who would like some baked goods (pam this might be directed at you :) but only because you are also pregnant.) Let me know and I will Bring some food in for delivery.

Does anyone else out there like to bake? or Cook? Doesn't have to be baking. There are times when I really think I could be a very good Culinary Student, but then Hayley reminds me of how hard it is to work in restaurant and how you would have to work mostly nights and I think that it might just lose the appeal. I cook to relax, not get worked up. I guess there is a Culinary School in Hampton that does classes on the weekend. might give it a try. Let me know if anyone wants anything and also if you have some good recipes that might not wreck the Diet.

Ode to my Wife on her Birthday

The amazing Hayley turns 26 today. I just want to say Happy Birthday my beautful girl. This is the 7th Birthday that I have had the privelage of being by your side and I look forward to 100 more. So much has changed in the past 7 years with lots of laughter and thankfully less tears. You're an amazing mother and my wonderful wife and I want to thank you for letting me be part of your life. Enjoy this day and all that you get, Please don't worry you'll get your chair so stop giving me shit :) (didn't think it was going to be all sappy did you?) Happy birthday Hazzy I love you very much!!! XOXOXXOXOXO

The Gym

Good Morning Dear Readers. Another Day of Doing nothing productive has brought yet another rant from my mind to your eyes. Today's topic: The Gym.

Why do you never see anyone Fatter then you at the gym? Every time I go, there are all these Skinny, annoyingly healthy people and then me. I walk into the place and I can feel the Eventual heart attack starting. These people look like they all jumped out of the fricken abercrombie and finch catalog and I look like I was the stunt Double for Jaba The Hut. Why are there no other fat people at the gym? I would go alot more if I thought that I could look at someone and Go "you know what, I'm fat but that guy is super fat" I know that's awful but I would feel so much better. I'm tempted to hire a guy fatter then me to stand next to me at all times so that I can be skinny by comparison. I'm going to continue to go with the hopes that one day some other fat guy will walk into the gym look at me and say "if that guy hasn't died yet then anyone can do it" Maybe I can be someone Else's motivation. if anyone out there is over weight and in need of someone to make themselves feel better. Come to my gym, look at me, and you will realize that you aren't so bad. you could be that guy sweating his ass off on the stationary bike.

Thus endith the rant. Sorry for the stroll down self pity lane. Sometimes you just can't help it.

The tale of the Dishes

Oh my Friends Let me tell you a story. A story so sad and heartbreaking that your stomach will wretch and your eyes will explode with tears. (no seriously explode) This is the tale of the Wedding China. Oh we had such beautiful Wedding China. I had no role in that because, well there plates and all I do is eat off them, but anyways they were beautiful. Until they exploded in such a glorious manner that FEMA responded. Here is a timeline: Yesterday at 9am Mom Gray(the babysitter of Penelope) calls frantically saying major accident in house, many dishes dead, still searching for survivors. 902am Hayley Tells Jim to get ass in car we have to go home now. 904am Get in car and drive home. 917am Reach Crime Scene. Devastation total. looks like tiny tornado ripped through Gray household. Many Dishes Destroyed But Family and Pets are Okay. Mom and baby Shaken but consolable. 922am Begin Clean up and Search continues for survivors. 6 Dishes Survived. 78 Killed. 7 missing, Presumed Dead. Hayley Sad but now gets to buy more dishes. 1113am Head back to work after burying unfortuante dishes with proper burial in dumpster, moment of Silence then head back to work. What a morning.